Friday, February 8, 2008

Jihadi-baddy's new nightmare – The soulless killer with 1 million rounds per minute.

The soulless killer,

Metal Storm, a gun which can fire one million rounds per minute, sounds crazy but nonetheless such a device has been developed, mounted on a robot it makes for a fearsome weapon in anyones arsenal, zap, and Swiss cheese has got a whole new meaning.

It tickled my imagination and I started to imagine how such a device would be percieved by the Jihadi-baddy who is motivated by superstition or rather the reward of the afterlife with a straight ticket to heaven where 72 nubile virgins are waiting for him and beardless boys are scattered like pearls all over paradise and he can take 72 family members with him if he becomes a shaheed [martyr], all sins forgiven and with all the honors, that is a great motivation for a mujahedeen [holy warrior] and a valuable recruitment tool luring the believer who have sinned into accepting shaheed.

In order to get the reward the Jihadi-baddy have to die slaying the infidel and/or being slain by the infidel.

But the soulless killer which is a robot is not an infidel, it has got no soul and no belief, nowhere would the Jihadi-baddy find anything in his own superstitious universe which deals with a robot by which any decision is taken by a software and a processor unit acting upon it's own algorithm.

Zap! Without any difference whatsoever.

That made me ponder and I created a rather fictive scenario with a robot sentinel and the Jihadi-baddies.

Putting it out in a forum to the cyber-jihadis got them more than just puzzled with the thought of the soulless killer and a Pakistani muslim actually laughed and said ''That would get them freaking out, a soulless killer would be nothing they would be able to handle or deal with'' were more or less his words.

Well, now I am not an Islamic scholar but that is far from needed in grasping their psyche, or lack of, however, in any of the 164 verses of Jihad there is nothing which deals with it.

And reckon not those who are killed in Allah's way as dead; nay, they are alive (and) are provided sustenance from their Lord [meaning they are enjoying their 72 virgins in heaven]; K 3:169 Set 11, Count 32

[4.94] O you who believe! when you go to war in Allah's way, make investigation, and do not say to any one who offers you peace: You are not a believer. Do you seek goods of this world's life! [Meaning that Muslim ought not say someone is a non-Muslim just to plunder him.] But with Allah there are abundant gains; you too were such before, then Allah conferred a benefit on you; therefore make investigation; surely Allah is aware of what you do. [4.95] The holders back from among the believers, not having any injury, and those who strive hard [Jihad] in Allah's way with their property and their persons are not equal; Allah has made the strivers with their property and their persons to excel the holders back a (high) degree, and to each (class) Allah has promised good; and Allah shall grant to the strivers [i.e., Jihadist] above the holders back a mighty reward: K 4:094-095 Set 18, Count 46+47

The punishment of those who wage war against Allah and His apostle and strive to make mischief in the land is only this, that they should be murdered or crucified or their hands and their feet should be cut off on opposite sides or they should be imprisoned [Pickthall and Yusuf Ali have "exiled" rather than "imprisoned"]; this shall be as a disgrace for them in this world, and in the hereafter they shall have a grievous chastisement, K 5:033 Set 21, Count 54

Well, it was long before Bill Gates was a dirty thought in his father's mind.

I wonder if the robot is running on Windows, never mind, here is the the invention and the story:

After years of development, a new class of weapon that uses computer-controlled electronic ignition instead of primers to fire projectiles may be finally taking its much coveted place in the U.S. military inventory.

1 million rounds per minute. That's the rate, by the way, not the volume; still, there's no way you want to be anywhere near the wrong end of one of these puppies.

One version, the Redback, features a remotely operated 40mm that can automatically track targets by slewing around at almost 2 complete revolutions per second, according to the company. "The employment of Metal Storm's stacked round technology for a U.S. military weapon system is a huge step for us," Metal Storm CEO Lee Finniear said in the company's press release.

Electronically fired weapons and the general concept have been around for awhile–Austrian company Voere offers an electric, bolt-action hunting rifle–but nothing has approached Metal Storm. Metal Storm weapons use multiple, "lightweight, economical barrels" mounted in pods on a variety of platforms that can fire a wide selection of munitions.

The projectiles are stacked in-line in the barrel–nose to tail–so there are no magazines, no shell casings, and no mechanical components. This makes them ideal for unattended area denial or picket duty. They are also easily adapted to light vehicles and robot platforms. In fact, the company just signed an MOU with iRobot Government & Industrial Robots to combine its robot platforms with Metal Storm's scalable systems.

"Together with Metal Storm, we aim to develop a superior next-generation weapons platform that ensures absolute safety and always places a human in the decision loop," iRobot's Joe Dyer promised in announcing the agreement. "When you are talking about weaponizing robots, there is no margin for error."


What a beautiful babe.

Let us have a look at the fate of Akhmed and Fatima.


The sentinel's electronic eye is scanning the perimeter looking for signs of movement.


A spectral scan of the surface and perimeter 360° around the sentinel reveals traces of the enemy and the sentinel extracts it's suction-sniffer starts following the trail putting its caterpillar feet in motion, slowly moving while effacing all traces behind itself.

The enemy is hidden somewhere - The electronic brain is calculating all the options and decides to move towards the wall where the traces stop.

A moment of binary indecisive confusion stops the sentinel in its tracks - It calculates the options and possibilities - Suddenly it sets itself in motion and follow the wall, sniffing for signs of the enemy hidden somewhere out of its sight.

The wall stops and the sentinel brings to a halt, a small hatch opens and it extracts its retractable eye which starts to bend around the corner scanning the area for any signs of movement.

Meanwhile the Jihadi-baddy is hiding behind a large stone, he is excited about the moment after he heard there are infidels in the area and infidels means he is going to get laid, he is getting a boner trying to imagine what a woman look like, he have only seen the mobile bags but what is underneath those mobile bags got his imagination running, his last memories of such pleasures were with his goat Fatima and touching her soft fur, he imagine the softness of a woman's fur wriggling her tail, he is clutching his Kalashnihov more determined than ever, inshallah I am going to hump all 72 of them he thinks and starts smiling.

The sentinel's attention is now on the stone behind which the jihadi-baddy is hiding but still haven't detected any movement the jihadi-baddy being out of sight.

But the suction-sniffer picks up the trail of the jihadi-baddy and sets itself in motion, slowly moving around the corner of the wall following the unmistakenly scent of the jihadi-baddy calculating all options of defense and attack within fractions of a second.

The jihadi-baddy hear the faint humm and cracking from the caterpillars of the sentinel and puzzles over what it can be, it might be the infidel he ponders but that noise is unfimiliar and nothing like the self-driven donkeyless carts he is used to see, they smell and they make a different noise.

His curiousity takes over and he decides for a peak over the stone.

At the very same moment the sentinel detects the movement and focus with all sensors and scan the area again calculating all options, within a split second the gun turns into position and aims exactly where the head bobbed up.

The Jihadi-baddy peaked only for a split second and pulls down his head trying to make sense of what he just saw.

This does not look like an infidel he decides trying to extract his memories and what he have heard of those infidels - He is confused.

Nothing resembles the apes and pigs and devilish postures of those infidels, this thing looks like a box with some cans, they are not supposed to be that small either he thinks, puzzled over what this can be and no infidels in sight he feels a little disappointed, he had been looking forward to get laid, he tries to fight of his dispair.

Meanwhile the algoritm of the sentinel has decided to go sideways of the stone to a calculated advantage point from which it can have a clear shot at what lies behind the stone, it has become partly hidden from boulders and some vegetation, steady it moves ahead.

The jihadi-baddy is crouched down and listens to the faint noise of the sentinel's motors trying to figure what it is and what makes a box move like magic, he have heard tales of the devious infidels and their bizarre contraptions such as water with bubbles and light on command, he remembers how he have been awestruck about that in a house he once went to and switched it on and off until his dad gave him a hiding, but this thing was nothing like that, nobody is steering that thing like the donkeyless carts, he is puzzled.

The sentinel is now a couple of yards from the vantage point it has calculated.

The jihadi-baddy decides to have a closer look on this moving box and cans, maybe there is something I could sell on the market he thinks, the box might even hold something of value or even food.

He slowly inches himself on his stomach towards the noise of the sentinel feeeling secure clutching his Kalashnikov ready to fire, he hopes to be able to pry open the box with his knife, inshallah I might be lucky he thinks, and maybe this thing means that there are infidels nearby, he is yearning to get laid and honored as a shaheed.

The sentinel has now reached the chosen vantage point and has got its sensors trained on the area around the stone and picks up the movement of the jihadi-baddy crawling towards it.

The jihadi-baddy now sees the sentinel and raises himself taking aim at the sentinel yelling 'allah hu akhbar!' - He is still curious and delighted of the prospect of getting laid and potentiel goodies to get off with if not the case if he doesn't find the infidel.

In the same moment the sentinel's guns takes aim and within a second the jihadi-baddy makes a swiss cheese look solid - His last thought was on Fatima.

Within the next split seconds it's algoritm sends a message with footage to command-post - JBCK 15:43:23Z 080711 TCK 23546 and the exact position.

The incident is downloaded to the internal hard-drive and the sentinel scans the area and move on to the trail behind the jihadi-baddy the whole incident erased from the active memory in it's processors - The scanners busy feeding new information to be processed.

Lt Baldwick receives the sentinel's 'pop-up' message on his laptop while he pops open a cold Coke at the command-post with a fizz.

"Darn heat is worse than a Finnish sauna gathering and without the snow to cool off with" he says to Sgt Miller who is reading a Newsweek.

"Yeah, it is worse than being a chili on a frying pan" he replies.

"Damn right!" Lt Baldwick then saves the message and rise up from his chair.

"I am going to get some icecream, they had a batch of 'Ben and Jerry's' at the last drop, which one is your favorite".

"Great, get me a Chunky Monkey"

"Be back in a sec" and Lt Baldwick left out the door.

Meanwhile while Lt Baldwick and Sgt Miller are eating their Ben and Jerry's in the command post the jihadi-baddy's brother Akhmed who is also a jihadi-baddy is coming back from the market in Al-Chamut.

jihadi-baddy Akhmed is in an uplifted mood, he sold the hashish for a good price and he finally had enough money to buy the RPG he has been dreaming of for so many months saving every rupee.

He bade his brother farewell this morning when he left to get laid and he now have got the whole hut for himself - He smiles to himself and hurry up to get home.

The sentinel is tiredless continuing to scan the area for jihadi-baddies and carry on in it's search pattern leaving nothing in its vicinity unchecked, it continues down the slope towards the village Al-Chamut in the same steady pace.

Jihadi-baddy Akhmed is nearing the fence surrounding the hut and he can hear Fatima's 'Baahh, baahh' from her enclosure, he has brought some vegetables with him from the market and he intent to spoil Fatima well knowing his brother is absent - Quickly he run up the path to the hut to depose the RPG and the rest he had brought with him from the market.

At the command post Lt Baldwick and Sgt Miller are both engaged in planning the following days search area for the sentinels - They have for some time had their attention on the village Al-Chamut and not without reason, there have been some jihadi-baddy activity in the area - They attack the current task with the same eagerness with which they have finished their Ben and Jerry's, enjoying it just as much - They made a bet with the Patrol units who could get the highest score of jihadi-baddies at the end of the month - 15 crates of beer is at stake and no mistakes are acceptable - It is a question of life and death, honor and glory.

Jihadi-baddy Akhmed spurts out the frontdoor of the hut and runs towards the enclosure where Fatima is lying under the shade from the dade tree.

Fatima sees jihadi-baddy Akhmed and thinks to herself "here we go again" her hindlegs are still hurting from this morning.

At least I am as much fortunate to be a female goat she muses - Now look at this fool, as soon as his brother is gone I hardly have got a moment of relaxing - Jihadi-baddy Akhmed's brother is very jealous of Fatima.

At the same time the sentinel is nearing the outskirts of the village endlessly scanning the area, it's sensors are constantly feeding new information tracking every movement it detects - The guns are rapidly turned left and right ready to act with seconds notice, right now the guns are trained on a chicken and within split seconds the target is discarded and cataloged for future references - Chickens are not the sentinel's mission and irrelevant for the robot but even so nothing leaves the sentinel's attention - Chicken confirmed - It has got enough such data to do a consesus on chickens if need be.

Jihadi-baddy Akhmed is excited - He runs over to Fatima and holds out a handful of vegetables - Fatima snorts but can't resist the vegetables - Jihadi-baddy Akhmed throws the vegetable on the ground and quickly runs behind Fatima the moment she is starting to devour the vegetables - He then mounts Fatima with a tight grip on her fur "Inshallah be blessed for such godly reward he moans".

The sentinel is steady getting closer to the village and it detects the jihadi-baddy in the distance - It starts to make a reconnaissance of the near vicinity and pin-point targets on potential strongholds for jihadi-baddies.

Jihadi-baddy Akhmed now relieved and satisfied walks back into the hut where he picks up the RPG and decides to go with Fatima and look for his brother - He is eager to show him his priced possession.

Together they start to walk out towards the location where his brother have left to find the infidels and eager to show off his new possession, maybe he will even be a shaheed he fantasize, his neighbor sees him with the RPG and runs over to have a look, jihadi-baddy Akhmed wave his hand telling him to come with him.

The sentinel's sensors are now trained on the two jihadi-baddies and Fatima, it slowly moves itself into position to have a clear line of fire already been calculating the most likely itinery the jihadi-baddies would choose.

The jihadi-baddies walking with Fatima are nearing the sentinel unaware of the sentinel but at the same moment Fatima is running towards the sentinel which had chosen a place with some cannabis plants which are irresistible to Fatima.

It catches the jihadi-baddies attention and they discover the moving guns of the sentinel the same moment and throw themselves to the ground, what is this?

Fatima is running all the way up to the sentinel and stops when she discover the sentinel.

Puzzled she looks at it and then she is overcome with joyful love, she nipples at the plants but rubs herself against the sentinel - The sentinel with machine-like disinterest in Fatima has its guns trained on the jihadi-baddies, Akhmed slowly raises his head with the RPG ready observes Fatima and the sentinel - "inshallah this is my lucky day, look at this, a box with cans" - His neighbor equally curious gets up and starts walking towards the sentinel - The same moment the sentinel spurts out two busts of fire within the same amount of seconds and the two jihadi-baddies look like old IBM punch-cards.

The sentinel then sends the message with footage to command-post - 2 JBCK 19:26:31Z 080711 TCK 23597 and the exact location - Then it sets itself in motion towards the village.

Fatima is following the sentinel closely and rubbing herself against it's sides all the while she is making joyful 'Baaah, Bahhh'.

When nearing the village Fatima's 'Baah's' and the sentinel is attracting attention - The jihadi-baddies are coing out to have a look, within moments an argument is breaking out - Who saw the goat first!

The sentinel scan the village and the huts it's algoritm calculating the targets prioritizing the jihadi-baddies with RPG's and Kalashnikovs but they are busy arguing which slowly turns into a small mayhem - Fatima nervously takes cover behind the sentinel having her hindlegs and back-parts to dear.

The sentinels processors are working with impressive speed.

All of a sudden 5 jihadi-baddies break up and runs towards the sentinel and Fatima - Within 5 seconds they are less water tight than teabags.

The mayhem comes to a sudden halt.

All eyes are looking at Fatima and the sentinel.

"allah hu akhbar" one of them suddenly cries and runs toward the sentinel.

One second later the jihadi-baddy is history.

Fatima is awestruck and caress the sentinel with her snout - She decides never to leave her new found love.

The sentinel and Fatima then walks through the village and every single jihadi-baddy have more holes than the Italian tax laws.

Later when the sentinel is called back to command post Lt Baldwick and Sgt Miller couldn't believe their own eyes when they see a goat walking friskly behind the sentinel ARRU 14 (Armed Robotic Response Unit).

Later they discover when analyzing the data from the sentinel that Fatima have attracted each and single jihadi-baddy in it's path, whether it is for shaheed or a goat the jihadi-baddies have got the same uncontrollable urge to get laid and the goat is almost as irresistible as being martyred by an infidel.

Thanks to Fatima Lt Baldwin and Sgt Miller won the bet and on each mission with the sentinel Fatima was faithfully following - Fatima got later promoted to Technical Sergeant.

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